Resolution

I’ve lost some motivation.  Or have I?  Maybe it was just misplaced.  No, that’s not it either.  It’s just that life has been getting in the way of my creativity.  

Between my husband and I, there are, what seems like, more than a dozen jobs to report to.  On top of which, there are all the household chores.  Oh, and we have two young children we are raising.  Yes, life is busy.

But, at the beginning of March, my family suffered a blow.  

My grandma, who was just returning home from Florida with my grandpa, stumbled in the airport.  The medics were called as a precautionary measure.  Her blood pressure was too high and so she was sent to a St. Paul hospital.   Of course, my grandmother, who refuses all medical advice, couldn’t understand why she needed to be rushed off in an ambulance when she felt “fine”. 

The next morning I decided to visit her and bring her a crossword puzzle book and a magazine.  Lord knows she would be dying to get out of that room!  But, when I arrived, I found her slurring, confused, and without strength in the left side of her body.  

I was stunned at her condition.  

Over the next couple of days, I visited the hospital 2-3 times a day, often dragging the girls along with me, so that I could spend as much time with my grandma as possible.  It was during the drives to and from the hospital (a good 20 minute ride) that I reflected on my grandmother’s life, and well, life in general.  

My thoughts ran the gamut.  Things that sounded like New Year’s resolutions “I should exercise more” and “I need to stop and smell the roses”.  Things that sounded like a scrapbook “My grandmother taught me how to bake” and “I will never forget that camping trip with Grandma”.  Political stuff too, “Nobody shouldn be denied care because they can’t afford it” and “The medical community needs to incorporate other natural and holistic practices.”  (It has been a bit of an emotional roller coaster in my head.)

In the end, this was my final, prevailing thought: “I need to take more photographs and more videos.”  

I want the legacy of my family to live on for decades.   I want future generations to be able to see and know their ancestors.  I want my children to know where they get their stubbornness, the shape of their eyes, their interest in the outdoors, the love of peanut butter.  

I have these grandiose plans of recording my grandparents’ stories and then creating this beautiful DVD for my family, but I never feel like I have the time, the organization, or the motivation to start.   However, now I feel like I have ever more reason, and a shorter deadline, to make this happen.

Our lives are precious and I want my family to understand how precious their lives are to me.  

~sarah

During my grandmother’s stay at the hospital, and after many, many tests, it was discovered that she had some “tight” arteries in her brain and some of the blood vessels in her brain were inflamed.  She has since been moved to a Duluth hospital’s rehab unit and undergoes physical and occupational therapy for multiple hours a day.  She has been working hard and has made some progress, but still has a ways to go.  I am so grateful to all my friends and family who have showed their support through prayers, thoughts, kind words and babysitting.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!